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God gave me a little lesson in humility last week. He asked me to do something that was so simple and so wonderful, that I was ashamed to say that the thought never crossed my mind until He told me. The act shall remain nameless, but I do want to blog the feeling of utter humbleness. Jesus' life can all be traced back to one word--HUMILITY. This thought keeps coming up in my life. It is hard to remain humble. It's hard to say "others are better than me". My wonderful husband said something so simple but yet so profound at our Bible Study Tuesday night. He does that occasionally!!!!:) He said that God thought us greater than even himself which is why he sent his only son to die for us! Wow! God thinks that we, the ugly, sinful, nasty, hateful, filth of this world better than himself, the Almighty, Creator, Redeemer, Savior, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I don't know what that does for your sense of humility in how we treat each other and even ourselves, but don't ever pray for God to show you humility unless you are willing to literally get down and dirty to please the Father. I will leave you with this thought. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."Philippians 2:1-11. Consider others better than you this week!!!
Where do we get our image of a Pastor’s Wife? In my first journal entry I said that I used to see them a certain way. I saw them as untouchable, unreachable. Not many of the Pastor’s wives I encountered were friendly or sociable. They usually played the silent “behind the scenes” person. I feel like I am quite the opposite. So where do we find out what a Pastor’s wife should act like, sound like, or look like? As I was studying this week, the Lord told me to illustrate some ways we as wives and in general as women should be.
Image is a reproduction of the form of a person or object, especially a sculptured likeness; one that closely or exactly resembles another; a double. In Genesis, God says he made us in “His image” What that tells me is that we are supposed to act like him. A good friend and missionary by the name of Norman Barnes came and spoke to our church about “Our Destiny”. One statement he made that stood out to be was that, “We were all created with purpose and destiny.” God created us to be something special and unique in his Kingdom. He also said, “Don’t die a copy.” We are called to be like Christ, in his image, but we are also called to be our own individual self. In the book I am currently reading called Captivating, there is a point in the book where she references our characteristics, male and female, to those of God. He made us in His image, so he must have those character traits. He is strong, wise, a good leader, a disciplinary, and much more that make him God and not, well, George. (That’s for my daddy) He also has traits that women embody. He is romantic, loving, giving, kind, a nurturer, and compassionate. These are all traits that we as women embrace (most of the time). He is the perfect example of male and female. Everything that He has created us to be is a little part of who He is. We aren’t an exact copy of who God is, but we are called to strive to be like Him, holy, as he is holy. That’s my image of what a pastor’s wife should be; striving to be holy. If they are doing that, then all the other images will come into focus. And that focus, is on God!
Have you ever read the passage that says the Holy Spirit is like "The Wind". It's in John, chapter 3. Jason spoke on it last Sunday and I have been thinking about it ever since. A friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday and reminded me of it. The Holy Spirit is like the wind. He blows us wherever he wants, if we have handed our loves over to him. Right now He's about to blow me a couple of places I'm scared to go. He's also about to blow some places I can't wait to go. The problem is that Holly's timing is not God's timing. Some thoughts he has placed on my heart make me want to move or go or do right now. Waiting on the wind to blow me is the hard and scary part. I want to plan my life, my dreams and my goals, but the Holy Spirit will blow me when he's ready--for now it's the calm before the storm. I have to sit and wait on the Lord. I have to be still and know that HE is GOD!! Pray for me in this endeavor. God is about to blow his Holy Wind on me and move me. Pray that I will be ready!!!
"You And Me" by Lifehouse, revised by River Stone Community Church
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything You do is beautiful
Everything You do is right
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off
of you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
When we sang this song at River Stone, the phrase that resonates with me the most is "Everything YOU do is Beautiful, everything YOU do is right," so I have decided to change my xanga heading to River Stone's version of "You and Me" by Lifehouse, because, everything HE does is beautiful, and everything HE does is right. "I can't keep my eyes off of you" - let that be my prayer today Lord!! That I wouldn't take my eyes off of you. That in my heart I would be bowed down, but that my eyes are still focused on YOU!! I want to be so focused on you that I want to have to ask "what day is it and in what month" because I am bowing down and praying and giving all of me to YOU!! It's just "You and Me" today God. I give myself over to you today and every day!! You deserve all of my praise!
I haven't been back in a while--but I'm back now--been xangaing and myspacing. I like this format way better!! Will write in a little while!
I know I have written about a word of the day/week before but my word for this week is Grace. It’s so funny too because we have a ladies event at our church on Saturday called “Day of Grace”. God is really pumping me up for this one. I’m a week ahead of schedule. Everything I have been reading or hearing from God is about grace. I will preface.
The other day I had a moment where I realized that being a Pastor’s Wife is hard task. Someone was talking with me about it and all I kept saying was how it’s such a hard job. It really is a hard job. There have been many times where I have wanted to choke church members who said horrible things to and about my husband (I would never really do that though). I take offense to that more than he does sometimes. I am very protective because I know how hard he works and how much he studies and prepares, and listens to God, and spends time with God. I see it everyday. All people see is what happens on Sunday or used to be (Wednesday night). Anyway they don’t see all the time he puts in, and I understand all he's had to do to get ready for certain church events, whether its leading worship or preaching. Anyway—this is a weakness of mine and God convicted me about that recently. He keeps reminding me to have a quiet and gentle spirit. If you know me I’m not quiet--gentle maybe--but not quiet. That’s so hard for me. I like to be “in the know” about stuff going on at our church and it’s hard not to chime in with my opinions or gossip about something that’s going on—hey I am a girl!! Anyway, God keeps telling me that I should be quiet and gentle. I think I've finally learned to just stay out of it. This is a big weakness of mine. But, my new motto is: Let Go and Let God. (I know someone else made that up, but I don't know who to credit). I'm a huge control freak and sometimes I just can’t let go, but that just creates more stress in my life and I don’t need that either. Remember being a Pastor's wife is a very hard job.
The other day I was reading a passage in 2 Corinthians, Chapter 12, where Paul talks about his vision and his thorn. I have discovered these past few weeks that I have many thorns (weaknesses). Paul talks about his weaknesses and boasts in them because they make him stronger. In these past few weeks I have seen many of my weaknesses come out and I’m wondering if God is trying to strengthen my faith for something. Paul says, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” I feel like these weaknesses in me are being used by God to make me stronger. In the meantime though, I don’t like this person that I have become. I don’t like the stressor person, the lazy person, the non-motivated person, and the other thorn-like person who is hanging around inside of me. I still can’t figure out what God is trying to tell me or teach me, but I know it’s coming soon. God is going to use my weaknesses to make me strong. In this same passage, Paul quotes Jesus saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” His grace is sufficient enough to take away these feeling of “I’ve screwed up again” or “Why am I so weak”. BUT His power is made perfect in my weakness.
His grace is sufficient for me. I'm not the perfect Pastor’s Wife, Mom, friend, etc. But Christ in me is. His grace carries me through these times of weaknesses. He will use these times for His glory. Paul boasts in his weaknesses. He is proud of them because he knows that God is in control of the situation. When I said earlier that I have to let go and let God, I do. I have to hand the control over to him and allow him to use my weaknesses to make me stronger. I can’t say this enough in my mind because there are so many times I feel unworthy of His love because of my horrible, awful sin, but HIS GRACE is sufficient. Because of the cross, my sins are cast as far as the east is from the west. God confirmed this through another one of our Pastor’s tonight in his message. He said, “We aren’t a perfect people, but when we ask God for forgiveness for our sin He wipes the slate clean. In that moment we become perfect again.” He wipes the slate clean. Isn’t that an awesome picture? God must have a huge chalkboard for me. There have been many times I’m sure that my chalkboard was full. I picture a little kid having to stay after class and write a hundred times on the chalkboard . . .I will not sin again, I will not sin again! But then, God takes his big huge eraser that’s shaped like a cross and wipes it all away. Wow, that’s GRACE!!!
My husband who's blog is http://fullnessofgod.blogspot.com/ told me I needed my own blog so here I am, blogging! Wow I thought it would feel different. It feels like I'm sending an e-mail. Oh well, I just wanted to tell whoever reads this a little bit about why my husband wanted me to blog. ( I think he didn't want to be the only one who did it--moral support :) Anyway I have been keeping a small Pastor's Wife journal since we started our church last October, and he thought this would be a great way for people to read what I'm writing. So I am a 27 year old Pastor's Wife--who doesn't really have a clue what I'm doing except for what God tells me to do. So my blog is my journey through my struggles of being a young Pastor's Wife. Enjoy!!
